As the season's final whistle echoes in our ears, Scott Nyberg and I, Shocker Allstar, sink into our chairs for one last 2023-2024 NFL Pickem Show. We’ll take you on a journey from the heights of my silver status travels to the poignant reflection of the Kansas City parade tragedy. We're packing a punch with stories from million-mile flyers, while also peering into the glitzy intersection of football and pop culture, making sense of the bizarre quirks of icons like Mark Zuckerberg.
Our hearty banter doesn't stop at airline miles, as we tackle the latest coaching shake-ups that are as spicy as a Culver's pepper grinder. Jerod Mayo's historic step into the Patriots' spotlight and Pete Carroll's move to sage-like advisor status stir the pot in our NFL updates. Moreover, we carve into the meaty topics of Super Bowl commercials and the ever-contentious overtime rules, analyzing each with the precision of a Caribou Coffee barista crafting the perfect latte.
Ending on a note that Minnesota Vikings fans know all too well, we dive into the heartache and hilarity that comes with the love of the game. From Mahomes' pursuit of greatness to the eccentricities of star-studded romances, we traverse the emotional spectrum of being a dedicated fan. The season may be over, but the memories and the laughs we've shared will keep us warm until the next kickoff. Tune in, get cozy, and join us for this final huddle as we close out a season to remember.
Ideas, rage, praise, dirt? Send it to igntrnetwork@gmail.com
As the season's final whistle echoes in our ears, Scott Nyberg and I, Shocker Allstar, sink into our chairs for one last 2023-2024 NFL Pickem Show. We’ll take you on a journey from the heights of my silver status travels to the poignant reflection of the Kansas City parade tragedy. We're packing a punch with stories from million-mile flyers, while also peering into the glitzy intersection of football and pop culture, making sense of the bizarre quirks of icons like Mark Zuckerberg.
Our hearty banter doesn't stop at airline miles, as we tackle the latest coaching shake-ups that are as spicy as a Culver's pepper grinder. Jerod Mayo's historic step into the Patriots' spotlight and Pete Carroll's move to sage-like advisor status stir the pot in our NFL updates. Moreover, we carve into the meaty topics of Super Bowl commercials and the ever-contentious overtime rules, analyzing each with the precision of a Caribou Coffee barista crafting the perfect latte.
Ending on a note that Minnesota Vikings fans know all too well, we dive into the heartache and hilarity that comes with the love of the game. From Mahomes' pursuit of greatness to the eccentricities of star-studded romances, we traverse the emotional spectrum of being a dedicated fan. The season may be over, but the memories and the laughs we've shared will keep us warm until the next kickoff. Tune in, get cozy, and join us for this final huddle as we close out a season to remember.
Ideas, rage, praise, dirt? Send it to igntrnetwork@gmail.com
Live from the igniter bunker deep, deep under cold spring Minnesota. It's the NFL Pickham Show, with your host, the two-time Boatman of the Year and 2023 cold spring Lions golf scramble champion, walker Alsar, joined in studio by the big-wing Jameson Wall oh my god. And remotely from their smoke stain shed. Interim producer Scott Nyberg, nfl analysis and inside information from across the league. Meant to edify and entertain. It's the igniter NFL Pickham show and it starts now. Are you ready for some football? We're ready for some football, baby.
Speaker 2:Ladies and gentlemen, it's a well, it's a. It's a sad time, but it's a. It's a big occasion for us. It's the igniter NFL Pickham show, the final episode of the 2023-2024 season. I am your host, shocker all-star, joined, of course, by producer and my best friend and overall, great fella, who's contemplating what color of sighting to put on his home middle-aged problems, if I ever did hear one, scott Nyberg. Scott, here we are again. What is this? Our third or fourth season? We've come to the end to now, yes, sir, hundreds of episodes of marginally entertaining content for the masses who soak it up and they love it. They love it from coast to coast and across the globe. More and more listeners with every episode. As a matter of fact, I had contemplated, because I'm exhausted, not doing this final episode and simply maybe releasing some sort of email newsletter, like one of those things that you get from your family members once a year who don't want to talk to you, where they kind of catch you up. You know the state of the state, what's going on with the family?
Speaker 3:it's like an investment. You get windling kinds of communication, as eventually just don't hear from them again.
Speaker 2:I contemplated doing that. I was gonna have chat GP. I was literally gonna feed like just a couple of pieces of information in a chat be chat GP T and just kick out like a like a four paragraph newsletter to the audience. But then I started getting some suggest mail from those who who like to show, who not only said you need to get the the season ended on a high note, but that don't. In the words of the chancellor from Star Trek and understdiscovered country, don't let it end this way. So we have to. We're gonna go back to the Sunday gentlemen's talk around and provide to you, the people that really I think put the wind in our sails in the reason for us to try hard every week to deliver solid entertainment. We're gonna go back to the Sunday gentlemen's talk around and start delivering more information. This is a quick update on the show here here yeah, it's probably about time.
Speaker 2:I know that I've been traveling a lot for work. I've already achieved silver status in February, mid February. I've already got silver status with Hilton and I'm already silver status now with Delta.
Speaker 3:I think I've already got 20,000 miles since the first of the year oh, you'd be just like George Clooney in no time from up in the air well, now here's an interesting thing.
Speaker 2:I fly towards the front of the aircraft in a nice, nice air space spaces where they have the ceramic mugs for your coffee.
Speaker 2:I was you select a meal and that's kind of fun. So anyway, I'll get to that in a minute. The last trip I was on sat next to two white hair gentlemen. One look just like Bob Kraft it wasn't Bob Kraft, but you understand the vibe that I'm talking about alright, so that was the guy to the right of me. I was sitting in the aisle seat. The guy to the left of me, also a silver-haired fox with a sweater that clearly looked expensive like a green Johnson. It was not.
Speaker 2:It was not either that you say that, though, because we were leaving Dallas, fort Worth, dfw, and heading back to Minnesota and a woman comes on, and the woman, the flight attendant, comes over and like, is coming towards me and I think she's cute and like, oh, she's gonna ask me want something. No, she goes to the guy next to me and she goes. Thank you, mr so-and-so, for being a million mile flyer. And I'm like wow.
Speaker 2:I've never heard that before, until she walks by me and goes to the dude to my right and goes. Mr Anderson, thank you for being a million mile flyer and I'm like wow and I'm like boys. You know, I got sixty one thousand total miles. Now I'm on my way. I go thirty nine thousand shy of a hundred what was it?
Speaker 3:what was the number? Ten million? I think up in there, that was the number he hit, that he was trying to get well here's the thing they don't.
Speaker 2:So after a million, between a million and ten, I don't think they differentiate, because one of them had four million miles and then I would have had four point seven million miles. That's how much they fly. The guy to my left was heading back home to Sweden and I asked him where he lived and he said in the mountains, in a chateau.
Speaker 2:And I'm like yeah, okay, and then he showed me pictures of his house because he's like oh, we have all these, these schools, we're doing these things. My wife is tormenting me with all these choices around the countertops and he takes me on this tour of his house, which has got to be about twenty thousand square feet, and in his garage were three Lamborghinis, two Ferraris, a series of Porsches and a galandis wagon. This guy had money like. He's the kind of guy that, like, when he dies, his family has to spend four years just really, you know fighting out where all the money is hidden because he forgot and then dividing it all.
Speaker 3:I think.
Speaker 2:I think I had some, some rainy day funds since that's account and it's like twelve million dollars how many families is he supporting all over the world?
Speaker 3:that's why he's got so many miles.
Speaker 2:He's got to fly at different countries to see his family sitting next to an icon that's contemplated, like what is the number before I go gay, like what would it take?
Speaker 3:oh, that number gets lower every year. You know, the older you get. I think well, not for you. I think the more successful you are, the less you care for me. The number has gotten lower.
Speaker 2:Well, I like to look, because it's a scale. Obviously it's not. It's not static, it's fluid, but on the kinsy and scale between zero and seven, how much would each step cost? Now, that, I think, would be an interesting special to take. I want that as a personality evaluator.
Speaker 3:I think if someone's buying something with a nice round number, they're gonna want a package deal for a certain amount of time. So if I were to say oh, david, your number is one point seven million dollars, cool, got you now.
Speaker 2:I got you until midnight, shut your mouth until I tell you, I would assume, for one point seven, you would want me to open my mouth, but I was actually hoping for 17 five. Can I just spit on it and tug on it a couple of times?
Speaker 3:that's fair, that's not that bad.
Speaker 2:I mean that's speaking of a spitting on it and tugging on it, did you see that Jackson Mahomes brother, or Patrick Mahomes brother, jackson Mahomes couldn't get in to his sister-in-law's party? Did you see the, and then she looks over and basically gives him the whole. What the fuck do you want me to do about it? And then just starts dancing and how liberating it must have been for Brittany Mahomes to leave that fucking baggage behind.
Speaker 3:What a wood tick is she more or less attractive with Taylor Swift next to her and Blake lively as opposed to Jackson Mahomes?
Speaker 2:well, she's not.
Speaker 3:She's not an ugly woman, but I just meant in the general far less.
Speaker 2:I mean, the fact is is I think Taylor switches incredibly attractive and Blake lilies obviously a beautiful woman. But you know who else who I thought was kind of good looking in that booth ice spice? Yeah, she's okay, little exotic, not bad. I didn't know who that was. That was a. You know, I was not booing her, but apparently every time they showed her on camera, the entire crowd in Vegas just laid into her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so yeah, it was an interesting one We'll talk about. We got lots of things to talk about. I know that you've populated the board. Looks like you've been very active and color coding the post-it notes, which clearly means you went into this sober and in no way, shape or form, under the influence of illicit street drugs, which I appreciate, and I look forward to getting in to this content with you. You hand some little dog, so where do you want to start today? And and and take me, take me, scott, on a trip Down. The NFL, which is increased in popularity just read it has now replaced baseball. Officially is the national pastime.
Speaker 2:It's never, been more popular.
Speaker 3:Oh, just now Feels like it's been decades in the making and you know, I didn't check the timestamp of that article.
Speaker 2:It could have been from a long time ago.
Speaker 3:Well, I think they got one 123.7 million viewer rating and their their median.
Speaker 2:Is that around the world?
Speaker 3:That's just your median number. It's probably us, but it was also that number was, like I don't know, nearly 10 million higher than last year Super Bowl. So there, there's definitely an effect. Yeah, the Taylor Swift and the chiefs effect. Some folks conspiracy theorize. I you do not, though I assume.
Speaker 2:Well, it depends on on whom around.
Speaker 3:You gotta put the flag up in your yard from golf and if I'm golfing at rich spring, there might be some validity to those rumors.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if I'm in Manhattan. No, not a chance in hell. No, sir, why would the New York Times lie? It's a paper of record.
Speaker 3:They are to be trusted these journalists.
Speaker 2:I think, so I think they should be.
Speaker 3:It's a top, is that? Is that really just? It's never coming back again.
Speaker 2:What's that?
Speaker 3:Where they just trust, trust, trust, where the journal is algorithm.
Speaker 2:Fuck that. I Think, I think the. I think the moment that you could have any crazy idea you wanted to and then easily find a thousand people who felt the same way, trust in authenticity, were, you know, a casualty of this new Overstimulated information delivery system we all find ourselves in.
Speaker 3:No shit. I suppose there might be some Connection to that kind of mentality and Kansas City parade shooter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what did we know about this guy?
Speaker 3:So it was two fellas.
Speaker 2:That got into a personal dispute.
Speaker 3:Of course that went to gunplay Okay. I Killed a local DJ, injured more than 20 others.
Speaker 2:I heard it was like 47 now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, at the end of Kansas City's Super Bowl victory rally. That was Wednesday.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Several people had said, but it was two juveniles. That remain custom. Like you said, yep.
Speaker 2:And it was not. It was not Jackson the Holmes that was shot.
Speaker 3:That we know.
Speaker 2:Thank God for that.
Speaker 3:And here's, here's where I'm connecting the dot here. This shooting was at least the 48th mass shooting in the United States this year, according to the gun violence archive, already since January. February is almost over, it's the half, I know, but I'm saying since January We've already had 48.
Speaker 2:That's what it says.
Speaker 3:I'm checking this gun archive, but yeah, that's, that's some bitter pills to swallow.
Speaker 2:Do you think that maybe they just you think they're responsible at all? Is Justin Trudeau behind any of this?
Speaker 3:You think he would have anything? The Canadians know how to play with their weapons, probably. God, this is such a.
Speaker 2:An American statement, because I feel like I have to like work my way through this. Can you define what mass shooting actually means for me? Let's see.
Speaker 3:Deaths, willful, malicious, accidental years. Sorry, this is just a spreadsheet. This website for the gun violence, let's see, let's see our guys this is very much not helpful for me right now, I'm sorry says gun violence and crime incidents are collected and validated from 7500 sources daily. So, whatever that, helps you looking for a definition? Doesn't have it on here. This is mass shooting, here we go, but it doesn't define mass shooting.
Speaker 2:Thanks, so you have to think mass shooting, not to. If I take a flyer here, I'm gonna decide mass if we think mass Scotty, if we think of mass Migration.
Speaker 3:So if we were to use mass migration, Well according to Wikipedia, yes, a mass shooting is a violent crime in which one or more attackers kill or injure multiple individuals Simultaneously using a fire out so more than two Indeed. What you say it.
Speaker 2:That way, it doesn't seem so bad.
Speaker 3:Now I'm gonna be on a list for looking at mass shootings better you than me.
Speaker 2:No, I was look trying to look up the gun violence website to see if maybe you can explain that it's it's, it's signing You're putting on not building a doomsday bunker under your house. Is all the construction going on?
Speaker 3:Doomsday bunker would not be that crazy these days, right.
Speaker 2:I hear it's the the new thing for billionaires here at Mark Zuckerberg's building like a 20,000 square foot bunker in Hawaii. 20,000 square foot bunker, yeah, which is funny because it seems like he doesn't do much but to put his Oculus Quest on and just kind of jam out in the metaverse. You don't need a lot of room for that, you just need a viable internet connection and a comfortable couch. I Wonder.
Speaker 3:I was thinking to myself. We're getting a dog, this is some of the man who knows, but she's moving to Hawaii, right, and she's not going to take the dog, because they have to wait in quarantine for several months before they can actually go to the island, and you can't even be with your animal, right. And I'm thinking to myself. I wonder if Mark Zuckerberg would have to have his dog in quarantine if he wanted to bring him to this compound?
Speaker 2:Well, probably not. I think he just surfaces in his evil submarine and then just trudges into his home.
Speaker 3:I'll send him a poke on Facebook, see if he'll bring the bitches dog.
Speaker 2:Anytime I see Mark Zuckerberg, anything. I hear the entrance theme to Dr Evil.
Speaker 3:Like just him showing up like a congressional. What?
Speaker 2:Just him showing up to like a congressional testimony. Yeah, we have talked about football.
Speaker 3:yes, A little bit Okay.
Speaker 2:Jackson Mahomes was Mark Safe from the 48th mass shooting so far this year. That's good. Taylor Swift is definitely making Brittany Mahomes not look. I mean so Brittany on her own in attractive woman next to Taylor Swift very mortal, though apparently did the brave thing and went and posed for sports illustrated, and she's getting a lot of credit for that.
Speaker 3:Of course bravery.
Speaker 2:Congratulations. Super, yeah, I mean listen. From what I read, travis Kelsey forked over the $2 million for that Super Bowl suite to house his family, taylor Swift and the rest $2 million. So Travis Kelsey's doing okay apparently.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah.
Speaker 2:Is this already a Travis D this show, or are we doing all right?
Speaker 3:Well, you know what the Travis D was. Is I finally lost?
Speaker 2:a season.
Speaker 3:Did.
Speaker 2:James end up pulling it out.
Speaker 3:He ended up pulling it out, and that's why he's not allowed back here.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well listen, I tell you what.
Speaker 3:we all have a dinner, but we have never gotten you a dinner, so you owe me two dinners and him one, so we'll cancel it out and I just I'm over one. That's what's going. You owe us all dinners, is what's happening? No, we tied again, but he got the lower score pick for the Sunday night game that we chose Miami and Buffalo, I think.
Speaker 2:We. We have a couple of fine options in cold spring, minnesota the blue Heron supper club and W we've got corkies sidebar.
Speaker 3:Hardies.
Speaker 2:Hardies is gone. They raised it to the ground. We hear. We hear Culver's is coming in. We've got a caribou coffee opening shortly. Jameson's wife will be managing that. That is hers. We've got Teals, hot and fresh, deli grab and go, rotisserie chickens and a variety of chicken related products chicken nuggets, chicken strips boneless and bone in home fries, mashed potatoes and gravy biscuits and of course, their world famous mac and cheese. Come on down and feed a family of four for under $20. Can't beat it in this inflation. Dip on over to Richmond, minnesota, and head on into Jerry supper club Choker, all stars preferred place to have a frothy beverage and something exotic off the menu, like a bacon cheeseburger with fontina cheese, waffle fries, sriracha ketchup.
Speaker 3:That's good. I do like Sriracha ketchup.
Speaker 2:Mayo chip. You had that.
Speaker 3:I have, I don't need roasted chicken. Was this transition at very quick.
Speaker 2:Friday prime rib specials, while supplies last get there early.
Speaker 3:Did you say, frat fired day?
Speaker 2:Fired day. Fired day, Prime rib day. No a fire day was. Friday Earlier this season oh yeah, let's talk about the coaches that they got the acts.
Speaker 1:Get that son of a bitch off the field right now out.
Speaker 3:He's fired. He's fired.
Speaker 2:Does Kevin O'Connell still have a job?
Speaker 3:Yes, vikings have made no personnel changes.
Speaker 2:Well, after that season, why would they? It's gonna be perfect.
Speaker 3:Well as we know, bill Belichick Harding ways with the Patriots already and Gerard Mayo is going to take over, apparently. What do you think about that, buddy?
Speaker 2:Can't get any worse.
Speaker 3:He's turning 38 this month. He becomes the youngest head coach in the NFL, nearly a month younger than Sean McVeigh.
Speaker 2:Well, they probably gave him the Brock Purdy deal, I would assume there's a lot of money there for him so and he has no real power, so easy to replace.
Speaker 3:And the first black head coach in Patriots history. Well, what?
Speaker 2:do you know about?
Speaker 3:that.
Speaker 2:Not only New England and the Boston area struggle with racism at all.
Speaker 3:What are you talking about?
Speaker 2:Pete Carroll, of course, has transitioned from head coach to quote advisor, not quite fired, though that was a I mean, that was a mutual thing, right? He's just. He's getting up there. He doesn't want to be killing himself on the sidelines anymore. I would argue, one of the best coaches of the last 10. Yeah, he was a lot of fun to watch. He was, I like Pete Carroll, which I'm nothing but the best.
Speaker 3:See those khakis flapping down the sidelines, just fucking hauling ass.
Speaker 2:I hear that was dong.
Speaker 3:Defensive coordinator from the Ravens, mike McDonald, to come coach Seattle. We'll see how he does Exactly. Also, mike Vrable ousted.
Speaker 2:He coached the Titans for the past six, still can't believe that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he brought them to the 54 and 45 record.
Speaker 2:Okay, where's he going?
Speaker 3:And two, two playoff victories. Nowhere Brian Callahan, offensive coordinator from the Bengals, shall come to coach the Titans.
Speaker 2:Just so we're clear. Mike Vrable, one of the better coaches in the league, is being, and has gotten his team deep into the playoffs multiple times, is being replaced by Brian Callahan.
Speaker 3:Two playoff victories.
Speaker 2:So I also live in a world now where Mike Vrable is available as a coach and exudes the Minnesota virtue and I will have Kevin O'Connell on the sideline again this year. No, you know, he's a player as coach, they say.
Speaker 3:No, bill Belichick. They never said that. Arthur Smith of the Falcons got fired. The owner years, no, no. Three years, 2130 for his record, okay, 2130. Seven and 10, three seasons in a row Isn't that great. Well, it's a right defensive coordinator from the Rams, raheem Morris, steps in and hopefully, welcome to Atlanta, where the players play and the coaches get fired like every day. After boat run out, he decided or rather they decided to fire him after four seasons.
Speaker 2:He wasn't told online.
Speaker 1:He wasn't a company man.
Speaker 3:He won one NFC East title, albeit with a seven and nine record. Dan Quinn, defensive coordinator from the Cowboys, coming in to coach the commanders.
Speaker 2:Now that'll probably be the end of his coaching journey, coaching graveyard with the commanders. Whatever happened to Jay Gruden? I haven't seen him picked up anywhere.
Speaker 3:He's probably in college somewhere, or he's joined his brother's legal team. Maybe he's just in protest as well. I'm with your brother to the end. He's like you. Goddamn better be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you got no money left.
Speaker 3:And closing out the Panthers, hire Dave Canales, tampa Bay's offensive coordinator.
Speaker 2:The Raiders. That is the most. That is the most Carolina hire ever. Oh yeah, the Tampa Bay offensive coordinator, who no one had no impact on that team whatsoever has known him because he's in their division on. Yeah, wow, and that's even worse. They've been with them, they've seen them, they've seen, they've faced them multiple times a year and they still chose the fucking guy. What does that tell you about Carolina? No one wants to go there.
Speaker 3:No one Although the players got what they wanted. Antonio Pierce was hired from interim to actual head coach.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it seems like right. You know he used to work for Howard Stern as an intern. Antonio Pierce used to answer the phones. He would filter, screen the calls before they got in.
Speaker 3:How do you screen a call for the Howard Stern? I don't know they have a bunch of Howard Howard was talking about the other day and they played.
Speaker 2:He's like listen, we love it. And Tony, he was great when he was here. They played a bunch of clips of him like screening people when they called in. It was just kind of interesting to see. He seems like an interesting dude, I got to tell you, of all the coaches in the NFL, he might be the most fun to go have a meal with in a drink. The stories he must be able to tell Good for him, great. I think he earned it.
Speaker 3:I agree I want to see him do well. Yep, john Gannon no relation to Rich, defensive coordinator from the Eagles last couple of years to coach the Cardinals as Cliff Kingsbury is going to be going under Dan Quinn to be the OC there.
Speaker 2:Wow, I'll really get the job done. Go Washington.
Speaker 3:Who cares either way?
Speaker 2:And then the high profile is Harba to San Diego.
Speaker 3:That is correct.
Speaker 2:Well, this is it. This is his last shot. To translate I don't know why he gave up that Michigan job. He was a God in Michigan.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't get it either.
Speaker 2:I mean, he doesn't know how to. I would rather be a beloved dude. Pull the Saban. And here's the thing Saban left. There was room now to be the preeminent coach in the, in the, in the collegiate ranks. He had it right and he left to go to the fucking chargers.
Speaker 3:Where it's a theory of cheating scandals. Who are the?
Speaker 2:second most popular team in LA. I mean, for Christ's sake, okay. Somebody said, now that he's there, that Bobby Schmender has no more excuses, and I'm like, oh, I'm sure you'll find one. Yeah, and also Jim, jim Harba, one of the most devoutly conservative like to the point. He's like adopting his, his collegiate players kids, instead of allowing them to have an abortion. He's like I'll take him. He's an LA which might be the most diametrically opposed political and religiously, to his, his particular brand of Christianity. It's just an interesting spot to go.
Speaker 3:This Jim Harba, have ill adopted illegitimate players kids.
Speaker 2:Did you read that story over the season?
Speaker 2:No, he's like he talked to his players and got out that he said basically, you know this, if you knock up your girlfriend, instead of getting an abortion, I'll take the kids and take care of them until we could find a place to put them, and I'm not not going to for that. I think that's it's a beautiful gesture to make. I'm just saying the LA, about the only place that may be worse would be Las Vegas in terms of just not reflecting those values in the slightest. I think they have a. I think they have an abortion clinic outside of SoFi Stadium.
Speaker 3:I don't know why I took that to mean like indefinite you know, who knows, maybe he's got enough money. Well, that's true, that's he's just. Wouldn't that be great if you had one of those?
Speaker 2:you know those videos where the like the old guys walk around some place of third world shithole and he's like for only forty five cents a day. I want to see John yeah, john, harbaugh do that. For only one dollar and twenty five cents a day, you can help take care of Harbaugh's kids. Harbaugh's kids have four hundred and thirty eight kids.
Speaker 3:So just I mean it's. It's a sprawling 12 to 28 acres, but it does look like a compound with kennels.
Speaker 2:Mrs Harbaugh and I want to build a new soccer field. Three square meals a day in a hot one bed.
Speaker 3:Did you, did you watch any playoff games and kind of. Yeah, I kind of fell by the wayside on some of them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was fine. I mean, listen, we got Kansas City and San Francisco. I think we all wanted Dallas I'm sorry Detroit to make it. I think that would have been a more entertaining Super Bowl. I would have cared about it a bit more, but alas it wasn't the case. Brock Purdy looked great.
Speaker 2:They were up considerably at halftime and then they, for some reason I don't know why teams do this. They have a game plan that works and know that adjustments are made, but it's like they all but abandoned it. The calfery, stop touching the ball as much they couldn't get the, the progress of the progression. Downfield they were not having as much success. And Patrick Mahomes I mean this, and this is the deal with Patrick Mahomes he's just good enough. If you leave it in opening, he will drive through it, and he did. It's an amazing group of people. I mean, they're so good that you can go and knock the fucking coach over and scream in his face, and not only will you not get in trouble for it, you'll be praised for your intensity. I couldn't believe that.
Speaker 3:And he said he didn't even fucking here, he didn't notice it.
Speaker 2:Well, he's old, fat and deaf. Maybe that's why Kelsey had to get his face.
Speaker 3:But if you watch it in real time it's almost like nothing. You know I love that. Still, it's become the meme the last couple of days. How could you possibly be with a man like this? Oh, I hope she doesn't fear for her safety and I'm laughing. I'm like that was like half a second from that exchange. She's like coach shit, you know, and plus come on.
Speaker 2:Great, would it be just for fun, if they're out in public and he just recreates it. So some photo talk and capture that photo. Slap it all right, that's a million dollar. Just change someone's life with that shit. Yeah, I don't know. It was a Super Bowl. The Super Bowl commercials were very underwhelming and I Nothing that was memorable. The halftime show was Milk toast. I wasn't pressed at usher's ability to quickly get into roller skates and not fall down Will's roller skating in a very small area. I didn't know who any of the people were that joined them. I mean, little John came on and you know, did his his thing.
Speaker 2:A ludicrous looked ridiculous. They all looked like the power gym people from dodgeball yeah, I don't know, it is what it is. And then ludicrous had these weird shoulder pads, these big shoes on. Is this where hip-hop has come to now?
Speaker 3:Well, no it's. I think it's just done up a bit extra for the show.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I missed. I don't if you caught. I remember the Dr Dre and snoops thing they did at the LA a couple years ago. That was a good halftime show one of the better ones.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, especially for our generation dang good.
Speaker 2:No, this one was just shit. I think everybody was hoping that at some point Taylor Swift would pull a Kanye and just pop up out of the stage and then kick usher off and then just take over. But yeah, it was fine. It was a Super Bowl and the season's over.
Speaker 3:And the season's over. Oh, I did want to talk. So we find we got an opportunity to see the ultra extra overtime rules in Full, a full effect, because you know what I mean and they utilized it. And I was talking with someone the other day about this and I wonder I often forget if you are a fan Of the overtime rules as they stand. Or previous sudden death.
Speaker 2:You know their arguments be made on both sides. If I had to air, I think I like the fact that you give the as it stands right now. I just I need to ask a couple questions because the the waters are a little muddied for me.
Speaker 2:Previously, if you had the ball first, you kicked a field goal first, points one, yep. Okay. Now you only win walk off if you get a touchdown. Or does the other team get a chance to respond? Touchdown or field goal? I feel like that's what they said, but the fact that we don't know this Is.
Speaker 3:This is part of the problem.
Speaker 2:We don't know for sure how it works. Now I know that we can research it, but I'm saying that the common fan probably doesn't know either. Put all that aside. I think I like the idea, scotty, in big games especially, that the other team gets to respond, you know? I mean, yeah, people pay a lot of money. In this case, what was it? The? The medium or the low end price was six, seven thousand dollars per seat To go to the Super Bowl. So I like the idea of giving the other team a chance to.
Speaker 3:So each team must possess or have the opportunity to possess the ball exception, of course, at the team that gets the ball first scores a touchdown on the opening possession. Okay, so just walk off on a touchdown, I think it's okay.
Speaker 2:Listen, I don't think there is a perfect answer to this, but I think that they've done a pretty good job with what they got. So I'm not gonna poo poo it and I am, you know. You know what it'll go. Yeah, take it, run with it. I like the way it was simple.
Speaker 3:Keep.
Speaker 2:Keep them out of the end zone.
Speaker 3:Keep them out of the end zone.
Speaker 2:Dude, these guys are kicking 50 yard field goals. Now they can get to the 50 and kick a field goal. They have to cover 50 yards and they can kick a field goal. You don't think that's a little absurd? I?
Speaker 3:think a lot of things when it comes to offense in the way the game is played, it's pretty absurd to.
Speaker 2:What I'm saying to you is is that kickers are kicking. Like you remember, at one time like 45 yard field Goals were a big deal.
Speaker 3:And then they talk about 53 yard field goals.
Speaker 2:These fucking guys are kicking 55 56 yard field goals every fucking game now.
Speaker 3:So rookies he's a goddamn rookie. For Christ's sake, yep.
Speaker 2:Legatron. I mean they're even giving them names. For Christ's sake, nobody ever. The field goal kicker couldn't even get a girl. He'd be the guy awkwardly watching everybody else entertain women at night, and now they're the stars.
Speaker 3:Oh, he'd get his knob wet if he'd win the big game. For sure they would.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they won the big game and now you know they're. They're thugging it up with the rest of the guys. I I think that you had to remove the field goal as the determining Factor, because field goals are simply so much easier to get than they used to be, especially at range. If this was 80s, 90s NFL, I would probably agree with you, but it isn't some teams it's all they got, though.
Speaker 2:That's all. He's got the dice throw. Yeah, I don't know. I mean I won't. I'm not gonna die on this hill. You know who cares what we think anyway.
Speaker 3:It is what it is I'm bitching about. You know, a rock that fell already. It's done. You know to mean who cares right on Piggy's head.
Speaker 2:Remember that. Did that ever, that part, ever get to you? And when you're watching Lord of the the what is it called? Flies. Lord of the flies when Piggy got the rock dropped on him and he's just a bag of goo.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, it's supposed to. Supposed to feel awful about that. Supposed to be disgusted, no matter how you feel about it.
Speaker 2:Think about Piggy all the time. You know whether you're not. I just don't want to be him, so that's why I keep moving. I don't want to be the piggy with the rock on the head, poor kid. Just try to be the voice of reason. Remember that Tried to you. Try to keep the spirit of goodness alive.
Speaker 3:This fucking savages killed him.
Speaker 2:Wherever he's standing. I need Kevin O'Connell just walk over there Did you like any of the commercials?
Speaker 3:no none.
Speaker 2:I Like the Deadpool trailer.
Speaker 3:Did you like the State Farm? Good neighbor.
Speaker 1:One or you didn't like that one no.
Speaker 2:Oh, that one was okay. Yeah, yeah, that one was okay. I think at this point they're mocking Schwarzenegger. He does not look good. Schwarzenegger Stallone still looks beefy enough that he could pull it off. Schwarzenegger just looks like a sad old man now.
Speaker 3:Well, so does, so does.
Speaker 2:Stallone I still own, still beefed. Yes, he is, but still got some beef on him. I mean, I saw just the other day there's a video, the two of them hanging out together. Mike Stallone makes Schwarzenegger look like shit now.
Speaker 3:Which is like he rated his mom's makeup. Kid, did you like the Uber eats Commercial where everyone had to forget something?
Speaker 2:No, I already forgot it. I don't even know what that one was. It's perfect.
Speaker 3:Oh, talking like walking the BMW, would you like?
Speaker 2:that was okay cute.
Speaker 3:I enjoyed the concept here's. That would be annoying.
Speaker 2:I did too, but the thing was is like half the impressions of him were horrible. So that was the point. Great, but some of them were so bad I'm like you couldn't find like Jay Moore or a you know couple other.
Speaker 3:That would that be how you end it Right? That's I. That's how they should have ended the commercial.
Speaker 2:Yeah him, him with Jay Moore. Who's the other guy that, like from Grubhild Manu, is a usual suspects funny little guy? Oh, kevin Pollock. Kevin Pollock does a good one, like all of them, like heaven dinner, you know, and they're all just like oh yeah. It's really too bad that they made fun of you.
Speaker 3:Did you see that Doritos a Dina Mita commercial.
Speaker 1:No, dina, dina and.
Speaker 3:Mita no. Older ladies no.
Speaker 2:I like the mullet one, that was kind of fun. The Kawasaki one.
Speaker 3:That was I was gonna get to that that. I have a list here I was gonna go on the mail. Did you see mail cat with?
Speaker 2:Yes, that was okay, mildly entertaining.
Speaker 3:All right, pickle, pickle, ball babies.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 3:American love story Volkswagen. That was kind of artistic Dig, that one at all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it was well produced.
Speaker 3:How about the Sarah V, michael, sarah, the Sarah, yeah, it was it like?
Speaker 2:it was like most movies, now it's. It was like okay, I'm into it. And then it ended really weird and disappointingly.
Speaker 3:I Know you like this one. No, he's like.
Speaker 2:Bob Ross with that beard, is he not?
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah, yeah, he looks he looks as creepy as his character is in. This is the end.
Speaker 2:If he, if it turns out he's interested in kids in a way that's illegal, it would not surprise me.
Speaker 3:No, no, no hail Patrick Paramount plus Patrick Stewart and hey Arnold that was a good one.
Speaker 2:What about a football shaped head? I Enjoyed that one it was. That was Actually pretty good commercial. Yeah, all the Paramount Mountain ones are actually pretty good.
Speaker 3:How about the wicked trailer? I've never seen Wicked so I can't comment.
Speaker 2:I've seen Wicked with my wife. I think we've seen it twice. Is it good? Very good, okay. So I'm actually somewhat enthused about the movie because I think it does look good. In essence, the Wicked Witch, or the Green Witch, really kind of gets wronged in the play, and it's about kind of seeing things from her perspective.
Speaker 3:I got the concept, so I look forward to seeing it.
Speaker 2:I think it looks good. We'll see I mean I enjoyed the show.
Speaker 3:Oh, the Silence Foundation to Combat Antisemitism. That was like a drag. Let's see Easy Night Out for the Bud Light one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no.
Speaker 3:Superior Beach Mikolo Bultra. Do you see that one?
Speaker 2:No, I do enjoy Mikolo Bultra. As I've leaned into my peak middle-aged whiteness, Mikolo Bultra is kind of like my beverage now.
Speaker 3:Can't have those extra calories and here's Kawasaki, the mullets one that was, I think my personal favorite. It is great let's see Reese's Having a blast Mountain Dew, aubrey Plaza, I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was funny. I like Nick Offerman a lot. Those two together are pretty hilarious, so seeing him show up on the back of a dragon was somewhat amusing.
Speaker 3:And football related. You got Dan, marina and the Eminem's Almost Champions Ring of Comfort.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so what was his name? The Dan Marina.
Speaker 3:That was the name of his boat. That shit was pretty great.
Speaker 2:I remember saying out loud I'm like fuck, that's a funny name. I mean, it's so obvious that it writes itself.
Speaker 3:But the Dan Marina was pretty great, ken Jong and the Popeyes Now horrible. Yeah, that and couch potato farms.
Speaker 2:And yet somehow somehow still bigger than Ken Jong's dick. Which one?
Speaker 3:The couch potato farm for Pluto TV, don't remember it, mr Pringles, with Chris Pratt. Yeah, yeah, exactly, I think there's Oreo one.
Speaker 2:Let me tell you the energy that I'm giving you just talking about these commercials is. It might be more than the energy I had like consuming them. I was so apathetic to what I was seeing.
Speaker 3:That's enough. I think we listen. We talk about all the ones that we're talking about. I was more.
Speaker 2:I was more excited about Gobbin Ranch on my cauliflower, which was delicious, by the way we had the cheese and meats and all the goodies. Yeah, yeah, no, no, absolutely, we had a game was entertaining Good day. I made wings on the smoker, I did meatballs on the smoker which were delicious, but then I ate too many of them and then it like compacted my colon and then I spent like two days just working through that I'd be a situation.
Speaker 2:I listen, you know what is that line your old gut can't be. No beef jerky. I need to take it easy. I need to. I need to realize my limit on ground beef at any given time is about fucking 12, 14 ounces, and let things be.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there are times now where I have to remind myself that issue. You're feeling it might be because of your age. You shouldn't eat that much XYZ at once or at whatever time.
Speaker 2:Nothing fun about a part poop, you know. I mean when you're really drink lots of water, I'm always like don't tear, that's what I don't want. I don't want to, I'm worried about you see these commercials. So I had at 45. Now I went to the doctor and on the chart are all these new fun options in the upkeep department and tests, and one of them is the colonoscopy course.
Speaker 3:That's not new, but yeah.
Speaker 2:I might save this story for the gentleman's talk around.
Speaker 3:You know what I will? I'm going to. I'm going to save my people, not an hour anyway, yeah yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 2:I'm going to save that story for the next Sunday. Gentlemen's talk around is a as a PSA for you know, making sure that you're you're doing the things that you need to do. But obviously getting older is also just an opportunity to be embarrassed about everything, so we'll talk about that. This is why people don't go to the doctor, because no one wants to go through this shit. Part of the fun. What else we got?
Speaker 3:That feels like a good nugget to leave it on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll get into that one. What a process. So let me see I'm looking through the list.
Speaker 3:A couple of things, kirk Kirk cousins number 10.
Speaker 2:What QB rankings?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Ok that's we're going to give.
Speaker 2:we're going to give that man everything he wants you watch. We're going to give him $100 million or $90 million, all of it guaranteed for a two year deal.
Speaker 3:This was from Nick Schuch from the NFLcom index of the quarterbacks ranking all 32 teams Primary starting quarterbacks at the end of the season. Oh yeah, that's that's what that is so. You got Lamar Jackson, of course, at the top. Yep Patrick Malm's Dak Prescott number two.
Speaker 2:How is Dak Prescott number two? He's never won anything. It's. It's not about. It's not about winning, it's just about stats. In this case, it's to be there really needs to be an entirely different metric to start gauging quarterback success, Please shall in number three. Yeah, OK.
Speaker 3:Mads Dak.
Speaker 2:Prescott, stafford number four. Where's my home's at in this list?
Speaker 3:After to a tag a tag, a bugger over here.
Speaker 1:Bulls. This is a horrible list.
Speaker 2:And there's golf, jared golf, jared golf. So to a tug of Viola. Matthew, Stafford and golf are all statistically ranked ahead of Patrick Malm's on this list.
Speaker 3:You did watch the season. We did as well with Patrick Malm's right.
Speaker 2:Who just won another Super Bowl. I just want to make sure I understand you.
Speaker 3:But we've already determined that this list is going off of season statistics.
Speaker 2:If that's the case last year, I assume then Kirk Cousins would have been number one or number two.
Speaker 3:Brock Purdy, number seven on this one Jesus Christ. Ok, Well, he also just lost.
Speaker 2:Smell this fucking list.
Speaker 3:I Eight CJ Stroud at number eight.
Speaker 2:Yeah, OK. Pat Mahomes, number nine Can feel my poop just fucking solidifying in my colon. From this list, the IBS is happening and Kirk Cousins number 10.
Speaker 3:Yeah this is. This is this guy's opinion, and I figured it would just piss you off, but I didn't think I'd. Jordan Love here finished the season strong at number 11. Right Flacco came in at five games and he's ranked at number 12. So this has got a heavy amount of opinion.
Speaker 2:We'll put this together, skip Bayless.
Speaker 3:It was Nick shook, I think it was.
Speaker 2:Nick shook.
Speaker 3:He's around the NFL writer.
Speaker 2:OK, because the Cousins number 10.
Speaker 3:Well, of course, in that regard, but Flack. Flack number one in our hearts.
Speaker 2:Am I right?
Speaker 3:That's all I got homie.
Speaker 2:It kind of went and what are you on?
Speaker 3:I did. I did hear that Quasio doful men's on Kirk Cousins. He said it's well certainly his intention to have him back.
Speaker 2:Oh, I like that. It's my intention. Well, it's my intent. Listen, I leave for Jamaica tomorrow. It's my intention, at the all inclusive, to not drink too much. I mean, I think we all have intentions.
Speaker 3:I thought you were playing it out.
Speaker 2:The Vikings literally affect my mood. Well, I mean it's they're never going to win, are they Like when you, when you think about to be a Vikings fan, is again is a? You have to mind silver right To discover the linings that that that can give you a sense of meaning and satisfaction that don't involve wins or championships or trophies or accolades. We have to make meals out of other things.
Speaker 3:That being a Vikings fan is like spinning strong aluminum or a poor family living it amongst.
Speaker 2:Like you know, they got handed down a house and everywhere around them are mega mansions and they're like sure they've got vacations and Gulf Streams and galandis, vagans and Lamborghinis, but we've got each other we got love, we got a lot. The great lie that people tell themselves, money can't buy happiness. Yes, it can.
Speaker 3:Depends on happiness.
Speaker 2:Money can buy a whole lot of happy.
Speaker 3:Well, this has been good.
Speaker 2:Let me see here. Indeed, it's the end of another season a season of disappointment If you're a Minnesota Vikings fan, a season of elation and ultimate disappointment If you were Detroit Lions fan. Again, we had a team from San Francisco and a team from Kansas City representing the NFC and the AFC and the Super Bowl. Again, patrick Mahomes asserted his dominance and has kept alive I think very much to the pursuit of catching Tom Brady, perhaps even passing him from a Super Bowl perspective. We watched Jackson Mahomes so gloriously be denied an opportunity to go to a party. We watched a budding romance between a football player and a billionaire six foot tall blonde woman who sings songs for girls all over the world Girls all over the world fueled by the exploits of her failed love life. We watched right wing pundits lose their minds at the very prospect of these two together, as they are both deep state plants hell bent on turning the election for Joseph Robin O Biden.
Speaker 2:Two men in their 80s who are clearly in cognitive decline. Because that's what we've got Two old, shitty people running for president. And it's never going to end. Don't you worry, chakra All-Star is not going to quit. He's coming back next year to take it right in the dick. Kevin O'Connell will be our coach, ray Faye Dofoe Mensa will continue to be our GM. Her cousins will get a max contract for $96 million. We'll have two of the best receivers in football, statistically one of the best quarterbacks, and we will win nothing, because that is the life of a Minnesota Vikings fan. You know what's got. We've got each other and we've got your audience, and that's enough.