Ever found yourself battling a cold that feels more like a mythic quest against a fire-breathing dragon? This week, David shares the laughable woes of his "man flu" while dissecting the final twists of NFL week 18. Enjoy as we deliver the lowdown on NFL officiating blunders that have our blood boiling and coaching quandaries that leave us scratching our heads.
As the playoff picture sharpens, we don't hold back on our predictions and good-natured jabs, forecasting the fates of teams from Jacksonville to Green Bay. Join us for a mixture of musings on life, sports, and the occasionally bizarre, all here on the Igniter NFL Pick'em Show, where we ignite more than just inflammatory sports debate – we light up your week with every episode.
And who could resist peeking into the Lufa system, a color-coded spectacle of retirement community social codes that you'd have to hear to believe?
Ideas, rage, praise, dirt? Send it to igntrnetwork@gmail.com
Ever found yourself battling a cold that feels more like a mythic quest against a fire-breathing dragon? This week, David shares the laughable woes of his "man flu" while dissecting the final twists of NFL week 18. Enjoy as we deliver the lowdown on NFL officiating blunders that have our blood boiling and coaching quandaries that leave us scratching our heads.
As the playoff picture sharpens, we don't hold back on our predictions and good-natured jabs, forecasting the fates of teams from Jacksonville to Green Bay. Join us for a mixture of musings on life, sports, and the occasionally bizarre, all here on the Igniter NFL Pick'em Show, where we ignite more than just inflammatory sports debate – we light up your week with every episode.
And who could resist peeking into the Lufa system, a color-coded spectacle of retirement community social codes that you'd have to hear to believe?
Ideas, rage, praise, dirt? Send it to igntrnetwork@gmail.com
Live from the igniter bunker deep deep under cold spring Minnesota. It's the NFL Pickham Show, with your host, the two-time boatman of the year and 2023 cold spring Lions golf scramble champion Shaka Alsoy, joined in studio by the big-wing Jameson wall oh my god. And remotely from their smoke stain shed, interim producer Scott Nyberg, nfl analysis and inside information from across the league. Meant to edify and entertain. It's the igniter NFL Pickham show and it starts now. Are you ready for some football? We're ready for some football, baby.
Speaker 2:Aren't we all ready for a little bit of football? Hagen-daggy, it's the igniter NFL Pickham show, week 18. My god, has it been 18 weeks of this? I suppose if you include the preseason spectacular this is 19 weeks of high quality produce content for our audience around the world now 71 listeners in Germany. I might add Guten tag, yeah, guten tag to our, our German listeners. Remember igniter network at gmailcom? That's IG NTR network at gmailcom. Please don't mention final solution in the subject matter.
Speaker 3:Germany. I know my cousin Raya went to Germany when she was in high school for an exchange student. She should have stayed you think we had a couple of them. I come back in intern. Ifa was the first one and the second one was Katya. Couple years later, katya was beyond fine the igniter NFL Pickham show, week 18.
Speaker 2:I of course I'm shocked, or I'll start your host with the most joined with producer and a oogler of women, scott Nyberg. Jameson wall absent called to perform his duties at his his j o b, so we will be going without the silent one, but even from this great distance we still feel the presence of his large bulge. So welcome, week 18. We're about to kick this thing off. We do thank you to our audience around the world. We really do appreciate you guys listening. I even think somehow we've passed sensors in China.
Speaker 2:We've got a few, a few listeners in Hong Kong no shit yeah yeah probably using this, as I would have some sort of propaganda to show how stupid Americans have begun as long as you like it subscribe. What do I care?
Speaker 3:it's probably working well if I can make a nickel on the way down.
Speaker 2:By God, I certainly will. I will be overcoming. I got a case, an acute case, of viral pink eye. I don't know if I'm battling some version of Corona for the umpteenth time, but I do have. I do have some sort of virus. It is packed. I've got some, some brain fog, a little worn down. I got some body aches, but I'm pushing through. As I described to someone today of the female persuasion, I suffer from an acute case of man flu, so even a mild cold can really, I think, cripple me expand on that for us, for our listeners?
Speaker 3:what is, what is the man flu entail? Is that you just uh, bivouac yourself and, yeah, acting like a baby for hours on end it's interesting.
Speaker 2:I used to play some sports. I used to get banged up. You grit your teeth and your ribs with dirt on it, but when I get sick, I I'm, I just basically complain the entire time.
Speaker 2:Everything hurts, miserable for everyone else as well as you if it's a two, I make it a nine, just because if I'm gonna be sick, everyone will understand and they will know and they will deal with me. I also don't like being vulnerable, so the double edged sword is my wife tries to take care of me, but I despise her for trying to take care of me. That's an impossible position for her, which is exactly the kind of position I like to put people in. There is no right way out it's a Kobi.
Speaker 2:Ashimaru for everyone. Kobi Ashimaru for you, it's a Kobi my, my Ashimaru for my wife, my kids get a Kobi Ashimaru your wife's, kind of like Captain Kirk, though I think she has a cheat code. Yeah, she's touched on it and all of a sudden, I don't have such a bad case of man flu anymore.
Speaker 3:Desire I'm feeling alright, I think, I think I could try. It releases endorphins. It fights the virus.
Speaker 2:It's good for you. It's instantaneously damn like day quill. I should create a new, a new brand Lake will A new medicine for dudes going through the man flu. Just call it, tug on it.
Speaker 3:Open it up. It's just a sign to hang on your belt.
Speaker 2:Yeah, bill it to insurance. What the fuck do I care?
Speaker 3:I'd love to see that on the insurance bill like an massage.
Speaker 2:Got him off the couch. You know what's on.
Speaker 3:Watson's got a tug on it. Prescription.
Speaker 2:Well, I tell you, from what I've heard, seven million able bodied men out of the workforce sounds like a lot of tug on. It needs to be taking place out there. Get him off the couch, get him into a job, get him paying taxes on time. I might add you fuck, what do you say that? Tug of come on, tug of I don't want to work. Tug it now. I'm going to go get a job. You know, I might take that trash out too. As a matter of fact. See, that needs to be done.
Speaker 3:So everything gets accomplished after the nut is what you're saying.
Speaker 2:You can't think about anything before then. That's fair you got a cloudy mind. Your chakras are unaligned. Your energies are out of whack.
Speaker 3:So we don't treat it as a reward for your good manly behavior. It's just to get your manly behavior started. It's kind of.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, I have a question for it. Can the cargo forward before you turn the key? No, sir, no, what do you need? You need ignition, don't you need a spark? Spark it, you need some fluid. Huh, little friction.
Speaker 3:Huh, this is, this is a good energy.
Speaker 2:Am I fucking talking truth here or not?
Speaker 3:I think you're spouting. You're dropping bombs.
Speaker 2:This goddamn viral pink eye. Just keep saying viral pink eye as viral, but you're shoving shit. You know, listen, I was. I'm a simple man, as you know. I put my leg on pants, on one leg at a time.
Speaker 2:I was under the impression of the only way you got pink, I was to you know, directly insert fecal matter into your retinas. But that is apparently not the way. Viral pink eye in ways burning itself across grade schools here in recovery and, dare I say, across Stearns counties. So, parents, if you wake up with some, some crusties and you have a hard time, open your eyes and their pink as hell, but you don't remember putting your finger in your butt or anybody else's and then jab it immediately into your eye could be.
Speaker 3:Viral pink guy is what I'm saying I understand the promiscuous youth are really into ass play these days, ass eating and so on, so maybe there's a lot of that that got into the high schools and then went down to the and they tried to say a porn hub was bad.
Speaker 2:I think that's just healthy sex, ed. Are we doing butt stuff now? Is that the thing I think it's very popular to? Sean Watson loves it, but no, it's my ass that hurts. We're not. You've been here before, mr Watson. We're not doing it again full one, massaging your ass full me once, she full me twice. We ain't gonna get fooled again, is what I'm what.
Speaker 3:I'm telling you now you hear me 2028 documented times a lot of pink.
Speaker 2:I with the Sean Watson wherever he goes. It's way where sunglasses all the time shades of red 50 shades of pink the DeSean Watson story.
Speaker 3:Wow, he got it from a brown eye. Who knew?
Speaker 2:Yeah, be great if his gamer tag was like but whole play.
Speaker 3:It's just the lamest. I mean not even use creative, just, but I'm a but whole here's another.
Speaker 2:Here's a fun white beat around the bush. You know where you want to go, the Watts oh my god. I don't want to talk about football.
Speaker 3:It sucks. Well, the good news is is we'll probably breeze through that today. This will be a short show, I'm sure.
Speaker 2:It would make it interesting for me if all the players got viral pink eye and that would be a great Super Bowl spectacular. So the media day everyone just got sunglasses on. We all got it. We all got it. Thanks, shocker.
Speaker 3:All start you fuck, they're all shaking hands and yeah, the day before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it gets you some pink eye.
Speaker 3:What do you think you are? Somebody sponsors ribs for lunch in there. I'll just, you know, fingers all over their face and mouth.
Speaker 2:Wash your hands.
Speaker 3:How else do you need barbecue?
Speaker 2:You can't wash your hands. Yeah, listen, the wipes, the wipes aren't just for cleaning the barbecue sauce off your fingers. It's to remove the finkle matter.
Speaker 3:But the finkle, the finkle A little veil over my nose, under my eyes.
Speaker 2:I'm not speaking out of turn. Scotty, I know things. I've been around All right, I've done some revolutions around the sun. If you haven't figured out by now, in your mid forties, don't finger butts and then scratch your eye. Hey, you can be 47 later this year. Fuck off man, I'll be 46.
Speaker 3:But you're almost two years older than me and I'm going to be 45 this year.
Speaker 2:Well, that's only physically. From a maturity standpoint, I'm still rocking about a 16 and a half.
Speaker 3:I was going to say compared to me you're like 80, white wise with the library and I imagine I have a maturity.
Speaker 2:Still got a kundtash poster on the wall.
Speaker 3:The gold wing doors.
Speaker 2:My maturity wears a fucking white blazer over a pink shirt. Alla Don Hansen. It's also smart where a pink shirt like that, because if you did have pink eye, people might just think it's the color of the shirt. I'm matching the shirt.
Speaker 3:These days nobody noticed. I mean everybody in Vegas has pink eye, right Pink eye, because they're stone.
Speaker 2:Wow, I tell you what after that. Minnesota Vikings performance against the Packers. A lot of Minnesota fans had some pink eye too, but I'm sure that was from acute rage and crying syndrome and acute case of what the fuck is them? I don't understand this team. I don't understand what's happening. I read an article on this church of you today. The writer just said I was one of the ones that wanted Jaren Hall. My bad, that's the name of the article in the strip. So not a good day for the Vikings fans.
Speaker 3:There are times where we cannot help being a Minnesota fan and it in that, in that vein, it comes down to just give me the fucking new guy. I can't stand this. Let's see what it's like, and for some reason we always want that if whatever is happening is not the best we've ever seen.
Speaker 2:You know, Randall Cunningham or whatever, but were you slightly uncomfortable seeing shirtless Kirk Cousins with a shirtless child held, blowing a big?
Speaker 3:Geller horn, I wasn't uncomfortable, I just.
Speaker 2:I don't need to put the shirt on both of you but put your shirt on.
Speaker 3:This is a family show.
Speaker 2:Kirk Cousins you know, here's what a mastermind. If there was any doubt that Kirk Cousins plays Star Trek chess, he has managed to become. Even listen, he's negotiating himself with the horrible performance of Nick Manion and Jaren Jaren, stuff and fucking butthole servers by simply sitting here and watching them implode. I think that's probably added about 20 million onto his bargaining position, because who do we get? I hear and we talked about this last week and it's making me miserable that Russell Wilson is the odds on favorite. The Vikings are the odds on favor. Why, why.
Speaker 3:Well, the same reason you're asking the question.
Speaker 2:Do we need an even bigger weirdo at quarterback in Minnesota? What are we doing? Does the GM understand what his job is?
Speaker 1:Has he read a description?
Speaker 2:It can be queasy, you're making me crazy. Girls love it in Cleveland, yeah, so anyway, nfl the no fun league.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, if you're.
Speaker 2:Jaren Hall, the no future league.
Speaker 3:And you're backing up in Minnesota. That's unlikely.
Speaker 2:You're going to be, I think, the only action the only thing that made me feel slightly better was the absolute. You know, they say Scotty. I read a stat about this recently. And pay attention, because this goes directly to the point that the average attention span for a human has has just dropped precipitously to about seven seconds, which might explain why number 68 for the Lions, who clearly fucking checked in as a receiver, was then called for an illegal touch, taking away their two point conversion and completely reshaping the playoff landscape. If I was a Detroit fan, I would storm the field, I would take trophies, the um yeah, the officiating has not been perfect this year, that's for sure.
Speaker 1:Get that son of a bitch off the field right now out.
Speaker 3:He's fired.
Speaker 2:He's fired. I liked that. The punishment is well, not all of them will get to call playoff games this year. Okay, how about fired? How about fired? Is there nobody else that could do this job? I mean, seriously, I'm we're. That was a big one Like. I hate it when officiants uh, completely and utterly changed the outcome of a game. I have not seen anything so grossly inaccurate, um and and have such a profound impact on a game call wise in recent memory as that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you would have, um, you would have won last week if, uh, if you got that pick right.
Speaker 2:Well, see, now the lawyer fucked me. Okay, cause most of those guys are attorneys, from what I understand, the officials, I mean no shit at Hockley at Hockley was yeah that, but when would how much would that suck?
Speaker 3:You're in traffic court or some bullshit, some kind of thing. Hockley shows up Hockley Cause. He's on the other side of the aisle.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he reads the motions but fucks the whole thing cause he's a shit officiant and he's a shit fucking attorney.
Speaker 3:Starts fucking flex. It is fucking reset through his coat.
Speaker 2:I'm going to jail now at you're in a you're doing like a fucking nine year stretch.
Speaker 1:You got to watch him, Bufa call on national football and you're like fuck yeah feel your pain.
Speaker 2:Detroit, there's probably some guy in jail right now Fucking, improperly convicted from this asshole. I'm, I'm, listen, I'm connecting a lot of dots of may not statistically that's probably true.
Speaker 3:I mean odds on, how do you, you know, not have a couple of mistakes throughout the career? I mean that happens pretty regularly in the justice system.
Speaker 2:No, I'm just, I'm just telling you. So you got AWS that monitors the, the fucking PSI and the football. They can't, they can't like track 68 and go. He clearly went to the officiant. Why the fuck else would he go there? Are you sure?
Speaker 1:Are you sure, bob? Are you sure? I don't know?
Speaker 2:who knows who cares this whole goddamn season. Seriously, I hope nobody shows up. Whoever wins the Super Bowl, I hope nobody shows up. And if they do, show up I hope they all get pink. So you're saying I didn't win. By the way, you did a little foreshadowing there. Is that what you're trying to tell me?
Speaker 3:Yes, you would have won, but for that game, of course.
Speaker 2:but I tie, then you tied Jameson.
Speaker 3:You each had 10. I won the week with 11 tying me for Jameson for the season at 159 overall.
Speaker 2:They hate it in Germany when you win.
Speaker 3:I'm sure they do. They love it when I win but I am of Deutsch blood as well. David, you have 142 for the season, exactly 17, more than one week behind both of us, so there's just no way you can catch up this week.
Speaker 2:Well, you guys could both be dead. Maybe you die this weekend, although, well, I suppose you'd still have your picks in.
Speaker 3:We'd still have. Yeah, we got our picks in. Even Jameson got his in. Even though he's not here, he did manage to send some picks.
Speaker 2:I'd get a small trophy, you know, suspiciously shapes like a phallic object, and put it right up your butt on the morgue slab before they do it ever to you. And, the matter of fact, I don't even think, even if your wish is where I want to be cremated, I might insist on burial, just so I can come to your grave every now and then and know that I shove something up your butt before you hit the ground. What do you think about that?
Speaker 3:I think I'll leave a piece of myself to be buried maybe my ass. Well, I'd prefer the frontal region we can have the whole midsection. The rest of me can be burned up.
Speaker 2:I need you to cut them from his hip to his thigh and leave the rest for me. Somebody needs those killings, God sir, I don't need to explain myself to you.
Speaker 3:I'm just a pair of Joe Boxers ready for you to slam do the Stalin thing, just get you a fucking embalmed put a bunch of fluid in your way and just have that thing.
Speaker 2:Always had attention. Look at that.
Speaker 3:I'm ready to go to Coles or JC Penney's or whatever. Seriously right, you know they got like the half mannequin. It's just that, some of the waste down to the knee.
Speaker 2:It's this sickness underneath it all. It's just a debauchery, imature man, just chaos in his mind at all times. So wonder I even can perform anymore. I feel like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. Yeah, just trying to keep it all, just trying to keep the hair slicked back, not lose my mind.
Speaker 3:What are we talking?
Speaker 2:about.
Speaker 3:Well, we got a few items to discuss for the week. Can we make it worse? The chiefs? Of course we had picked probable chiefs to make it to the Super Bowl and win, but I think they get they want, they want. They clinched their eighth consecutive AFC West title with the win over the Bengals.
Speaker 2:As such, they're going to sit Pat Mahomes for the for the remainder of the season, so that's that Well, you know, and that gives them ample time to celebrate the fact that his brother, his charges of sexual battery, have been dropped. Congratulations, jackson Mahomes.
Speaker 3:Yay, good for you, you're still a fucking creep. It'll happen again.
Speaker 2:Come on, I want to kiss you.
Speaker 3:He's channeling Joe Namath in a much creepier way.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, it was almost like a grandpa doing it right, Right yeah. I mean, if there was ever a theory that if you have one highly talented child, the rest of them just get what's left over, that that is evidence, a right there. Jackson Mahomes, like Schwarzenegger and DeVito His DeVito had some redeeming qualities yeah, Nobody.
Speaker 3:Nobody likes Jackson Mahomes and only a few people like no one likes Jack His parents.
Speaker 2:Can you imagine like, even at Christmas time, patrick Holmes is like you know, dad, I bought you a fucking yacht. And Jackson Holmes is like I got you some scratchers.
Speaker 3:Some Kansas City scratchers and maybe lottery.
Speaker 2:And then maybe you'll win enough to buy a something I don't know Foot massager. Thanks for doing that. Thanks for doing it, mom and dad. Merry Christmas.
Speaker 3:When the last time Mahomes won the Super Bowl, his dad grabbed him by the head and he was just having that emotional moment and he said I ain't never seen nothing like you, boy. I never seen nothing like you, you know, and it was a really sweet thing. Now, how the fuck are you going to compare with that, Jackson?
Speaker 2:by committing sexual battery. I don't know, I don't know, I don't like you.
Speaker 3:It's a different tone, man, I've seen nothing like you, jackson, you know son of mine.
Speaker 2:He, like his brother, comes home after winning the Super Bowl and he's like yeah. And then he goes into his room later and he's just like fucking, just pissed off. He looks at his trophies where he came in second place, he's just miserable.
Speaker 1:Patrick's trying to buy him off.
Speaker 2:Patrick, here's a Rolls Royce. Oh, you think I can earn it on my own. I'm not saying that.
Speaker 3:Oh look, if it's Patrick and Shatrick.
Speaker 2:Jackson, my homes Sounds like a sexual deviant.
Speaker 3:Feel like that one. He let his wife name.
Speaker 2:Well, congratulations, Patrick. You get to sit in the house with your wife for a week and Listen to that.
Speaker 3:And other things, and I'm sure David would love to listen to Mike Tomlin.
Speaker 2:But I will. I love my talent.
Speaker 3:Seventeenth straight non losing season to begin his career Unbelievable as a head coach, which is 17th straight to and that has it really been that long since the Minnesota, like he stupidly let him leave. To that, to that note when we lost him, we kept Brad Childress for three to four more years. Just put that into perspective.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a lot of winning seasons there for Brad. The only thing that was remarkable about Brad Childress is that how much Brad Farve disliked him. That was.
Speaker 3:You just look at the guy and you're like, oh, you imagine, imagine.
Speaker 2:Brad Childress thinks he's going to have a team to run and then they go get the gunslinger Bring him in on that private plane. The fact that Brad Childress just has to swallow all of his pride.
Speaker 3:You just seem like a fussy fussy prick.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he looks like a fucking driver's ed instructor. And all of a sudden the cool kid from high school shows up and he's just bummed out. But hey, it happens. Yeah, Mike Tomlin should have been our coach. He should have been our guy. Stefansky should have been our guy. Brian Billick should have been our guy. Tony Dungey should have been our guy. We have let go so much world-class coaching talent. And who do we go get? Kevin O'Connell, because it was the offensive coordinator for a Super Bowl winning team, except he didn't call the plays. Sean called the fucking plays. He was basically there as the understudy learning and someone thought, hey, that's more than enough to give him a fucking job as a head coach. And we're stuck with this asshole for at least another two seasons.
Speaker 3:I know Michael Petaway Tomlin learned under the likes of Tony Dungey and John Gruden of course down in Tampa. I mean, you cannot pedigree, pedigree, that's pedigree.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good dude too, and, by the way, a first ballot hall of famer, one of the best coaches to ever, seventeen winning seasons. Not a lot of guys get to say that. Not a lot of guys I'd never seen his middle name before Michael Petaway Tomlin I was.
Speaker 3:I'd never seen that before. Wow, it's fucking.
Speaker 2:It's certainly unusual, certainly what the Sean Watson says when entering any sort of Petaway.
Speaker 3:Can I pet away? Absolutely you can. I love the Petaway. Go ahead, sean, you don't need to take your pants off, oh I don't, I'll pants away.
Speaker 2:Then Petaway, no worries, I'll put them back on, I guess, I guess. Wait, I guess I'll put them back on, I guess I'll put it back on. I guess we're not doing that here. It's H and R block.
Speaker 3:All right, Speaking of former Minnesotans. Dalvin Cook was waived by the New York Jets this week Six point eight million bucks.
Speaker 2:Good, good earnings for the season.
Speaker 3:Subsequently claimed by the Ravens, which is exactly what he wanted, because he did want to be picked up by a love for agency, love that Good for him.
Speaker 2:So he's picked up by the Ravens.
Speaker 3:Yep, so, and he'll join their stable of 15. Robbie, just so we're clear.
Speaker 2:six point eight million with the worst team in the league will probably end up with a Super Bowl. Talk about a tale of two, of two halves of a season, really up until the final moment, by the way. Congratulations, dalvin Cook. I hope you get that trophy. Just a time for everyone to find out you are lying about how that woman was in your home and then you needed to get her out. I was like he's going to face some charges for that one too.
Speaker 3:You think so?
Speaker 2:I haven't heard any news on that.
Speaker 3:It's funny they never have the recap bubble up to the surface of the news bulletins as quickly as the initial troubles.
Speaker 2:Oh no, the the retractions always way down there on page 10. Sorry, we were wrong.
Speaker 3:Like like Vaughan Miller's wife, when you were reading that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, last week.
Speaker 1:I was, I was shitting myself.
Speaker 3:I was listening to the show, going over it just to make sure to miss anything, and I was dying laughing at you just reading that.
Speaker 2:That you're reporting on it was so contradictory. Calls and says are like that my life's a day, and I guess I think everyone's taking this out of context. Well, you're the one who provided the context.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that cracked me up. I would love to. Well, here's the context for Alabama cornerback Jaquincee Koolaid McKinstry. He announced that he's going to furgo another season of eligibility and enter the 2024 draft.
Speaker 2:Hey, all right, we needed him to Kinstry.
Speaker 3:His name just jumped out.
Speaker 2:Koolaid.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he got his famous nickname from his grandmother who said he smiled like the Koolaid man as a baby. Ha, Maybe the bikes will go and get him.
Speaker 2:Well, what does he play? What position? Cornerback corner Is any good corner.
Speaker 3:He's considered one of the best cornerback talents in college football, a long, fluid cover man, it says. He's only collected to college interceptions but displayed a nose for the ball with 25 career passes defended, 16 in 2022. He's highly confident and aggressive and, although that also works against him at times because of obviously he wants to, everyone wants to be sauce gardener, so sounds like Chad GPT wrote that summary. He probably did, but I was just checking out the name. I wanted to know how he got the new nickname, koolaid, but apparently it's all from when he was a baby. This is diabetes. I miss Wilfred Brimley. Tyreek Hill in the news again. What did you do? Fire, nothing.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, it golfed his home.
Speaker 3:Yeah, fire started his home, his kid playing with a Seagate lighter Was that what it?
Speaker 2:was.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no one was harmed. There were a couple of family members at home, but nobody was harmed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'm going to assume though the internet has appropriately gotten him canceled now for allowing his child to play with a cigarette lighter.
Speaker 1:Have, we, do we have justice yet.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm going to get on that.
Speaker 3:Who knows where the cigarette lighter came from. It was probably his mom's for lighting candles. Obviously we're not going to white collar resort prison.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, we're coming for you, Tyreek Call me in the ass prison.
Speaker 3:Reds, reds, reds, reds, reds, reds.
Speaker 2:I will not be happy until he is well Buttered, till his bread's been buttered.
Speaker 3:A little tartar sauce.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 3:Excuse me, do you want to hear the Pro Bowl rosters?
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't know yeah. What's going to be the highlights Anybody from the Vikings, make it, of course. Who did?
Speaker 3:get through. Well, you mentioned Tyreek and his and his accomplishments and I was like did he make the Pro Bowl? Let's check it out. Hopefully the firefighters made the roster AFC Pro Bowl roster.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're telling me anyway. All right, I'm ready.
Speaker 3:Quarterbacks to Lamar and.
Speaker 2:Mahomes. Couple of those. Well, at least one of those guys is not going to be able to play.
Speaker 3:No doubt Go ahead Running backs Raheem Mostert, james Cook from the Bills and Derek Henry from the Titans.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this goes to show you how little or what little impact the running back position has. Now I know two or one of those guys Go ahead.
Speaker 3:Wide receiver to recal Amari Cooper, keenan Allen and Jamar Chase Keenan Allen. He even had a really good first pass.
Speaker 1:Is he still playing?
Speaker 3:Yeah, he had a really good half this first. Well, as soon as Herbert got hurt, he's everybody on the the Ravens item.
Speaker 2:Is he pulling the good?
Speaker 3:for tight end, you got Travis Kelsey, of course, naturally, and David and Joe Q.
Speaker 2:They got to get Taylor Swift to do the halftime show Right, especially if I mean if Kelsey's in it. That just seems like you got to do it.
Speaker 3:I think they would try it. They would tour should be over by then, right?
Speaker 2:You see how much money she's going to make off of this tour in the movie. What's that? 3.7 billion.
Speaker 3:Holy shit, that's a world tour.
Speaker 2:So I suppose somebody said that the great joke was that if Kelsey fucks around she might just buy the team and send them back.
Speaker 3:Because she got to open it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you buy it.
Speaker 3:All right. We'll skip over some of the other shit here.
Speaker 2:Miles.
Speaker 3:Garrett Yep, great Super.
Speaker 2:Max.
Speaker 3:Kraus, max Krosby, yep, who else we got? Oh, quinn and Williams for the New York Jets that boy, good, I know, the Jets had a rough one but Chris Jones for the Kansas City Chiefs. Chris Jones killing it Outside linebacker Khalil Mack, tj Watt and then of course the other Josh Allen, jacksonville Jaguars.
Speaker 1:Rolf.
Speaker 3:Runds-Swith for inside. Let's see Cornerback Saw Skardner, pat Sertain. Let's check out a couple here.
Speaker 2:Will Vaughn Miller get out of any court dates Going to stop him from participating?
Speaker 3:He can't. He wasn't good enough. He had like no two sacks this year oh all fell in team and kicker Justin Cucker Tucker, not cucker, excuse me.
Speaker 2:Justin Tucker. I like watching other dudes bang his wife. Justin Cucker Go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 3:Go ahead. I really, really wish that was his jam, because then that would definitely be the best nickname and he could care less, he's just bored with it.
Speaker 2:He's like, yeah, yeah, you're banging her. Why don't you go out and kick for me. I just want to watch I'll be outside. I'm going to practice kicking. You're done. Get yourself a glass of juice and get out.
Speaker 3:He asked the punter to kick for him. Now he's like. You know what Can you?
Speaker 2:hold? Yeah, I tell you what you're done with her. Can you hold the ball? Get one in from 50 before you can go eat.
Speaker 3:NFL Pro Bowl roster as it stands Brock Purdy, dak Prescott and Matt Stafford for the CUBES Set the world on fire. Go ahead Running backs, cmc running back company Yep. Deandre Swift for the Eagles and Kyren Williams for the Rams Great, what an honor. I will mention Kyle Jusic for the Niners as fullback, just cause he's a good workman, yeah.
Speaker 2:He's one of four fullbacks of the last five years, cj Ham being the other one. I think that's two. I can't count.
Speaker 3:To be Be fair, jusic has been the one that's been in San Francisco, no matter who's been calling plays or running the ball.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, he's working for half, I mean he's probably not charging a lot.
Speaker 3:Fullbacks are commanding top dollar which is a real shame, because behind or in front of every great running back, there's usually a pretty goddamn good fullback. Anyway, what wide receiver CD lamb, aj Brown, the Philly, mike Evans? Yep. And who got no cool off the LA Rams, who? And you got George Kittle and Sam LaPorta? Yep, sam LaPorta turned out to be a nice picture. Tj Hawkinson, he didn't make it, did not make it. What a shame.
Speaker 2:He's the highest paid tight end in NFL history.
Speaker 3:You'd think that would have some kind of correlation to his on field play.
Speaker 2:Hmm, it looks like we overpaid for him, crazy.
Speaker 3:Fuck Travis's brother, jason, shall be joining the Pro Bowl. Two walls, yeah.
Speaker 2:And half of the Super Bowl, or sorry, half of the Pro Bowl, coverage will just be of those two and their mom.
Speaker 1:So watch out.
Speaker 2:New commercials inbound folks.
Speaker 3:We got defensive end Nick Bosa for the Niners. That is pretty good. Montez Sweat was a pickup. Midwifers of season One of the great names of all time, montez Sweat. And then, of course, the Lions got Aidan Hutchinson, as he made the list for the player, that boy, good, he is very good. Defensive tackle His sister and his mom are incredibly hot too. For the record, yes, Thank you, aaron Donald, for defensive tackle LA Rams Outside linebacker. You got Micah Parsons from the Cowboys. You got Daniel Hunter from the Vikes.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, really he's got like four sacks.
Speaker 3:It's more about tackles too, I think, and pressures in this regard, daniel's on the radio.
Speaker 2:It must be Go ahead.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're right. Let's see who else. We got Cornerback DeRion Bland from the Cowboys. Of course, six pick sixes. You're not going to not make it in, right, yeah, five. Charverius Ward from the Niners. Who else we got? Free safety, strong safety, fuck it. We don't know any of these. Buddy Kicker. Brandon Aubrey from the Cowboys Fucking rookie Rock and roll. That's a good segment and that's enough of that for now. I do have just a little quick. Is there anyone you felt was snubbed? That should have been.
Speaker 2:Ah, that's a good question. Probably Mike Evans. No, he made it. Oh, he didn't make it. No, okay, let me go with it. Let me think here. You gave a lot. You know, I'm sick right now. Just that is. Let me think here. Jalen Hertz.
Speaker 3:Maybe. Yeah, that's a good one, josh Allen. Josh Allen.
Speaker 2:I was going to say that one next Jaren Hall.
Speaker 3:How about I'm on Ross St Brown yeah?
Speaker 2:that's probably a snub. Who's the other receivers in the NFC?
Speaker 3:Brandon Iuk would have been a good one to make in there too. Maybe Debo Samuel. But, again with San Francisco. It's like you got to pick either all of them or not pick your poison.
Speaker 2:Yeah well, the fact is that the NFC Pro Bowl team could just be the San Francisco 49ers, the whole damn thing. Who are the coaches?
Speaker 3:Doesn't have that. Is Kevin O'Connell going to do it? I certainly hope not.
Speaker 2:He's earned it, all right, great. Let's see what are we doing with this segment. Who cares? Who cares Back to, who gives a shit?
Speaker 3:All right, we'll give you the playoff seeds right now, and then we'll get into picks and I'm going to react to this.
Speaker 2:Let's start fresh. Let's go, I'm ready.
Speaker 3:All right, a off play, excuse me, a off playoff seeds. The Ravens have a off playoff seeds. The AFC playoff seeds A off playoff, a off man. Ravens got the first round by and the first seed course. Dolphins have clinched to playoff first. Yep, chiefs clinched. The AFC West yeah, jaguars have not clinched yet, but they're nine and seven. Hold in their division. Ok, I have to win. Cleveland has clinched to playoff birth, so they'll be sitting. Joe, joe Flacco this week.
Speaker 2:Great, the build out to Cleveland, yeah what's that Shout out to Cleveland and Joe Flacco? Am I right he came in at?
Speaker 3:week 12. He did it and he gets to take week 18 off. He's playing five games and that's going to give him a bonus.
Speaker 3:The bills, hopefully, will win to get in and they should. They're holding the sixth seed right now, and then the Colts are at nine or at seven, with nine and seven in the hunt. Still are the Texans and the Steelers at nine and seven, both of whom kind of you know they could win and need some help to get in. Wonderful, I know this is the least exciting stuff. I'm trying to make it quick. All right, we'll jump over to the NFC. You got the Niners clinched.
Speaker 3:The West and the number one seed, first run by Cowboys, are at number two, clinched the playoff birth. So did the Lions at number three by clinching the NFC. North Tampa Bay Buccaneers are eight and eight and if they win they should be in more than likely. Eagles are at five. They've clinched a playoff birth. Rams also have clinched a number six, playoff birth. Packers are at eight and eight at seven. Presently, seahawks are in the hunt along with New Orleans, the Vikings and the Atlanta Falcons. Seahawks and the Saints are at eight and eight and the Vikings and the Falcons are seven and nine. So them still being in the hunt is really about a lot of this, that and the other things. So if the Vikings happen to beat Detroit and some other shit happens, like Green Bay losing, for instance. Then we can win, but we wouldn't dream of taking that beautiful playoff spot from somebody that could actually use it, would we?
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, since we're going to be you know one and done anyway, if we do make the playoffs, who get it, please? No, you know so.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like I mentioned, flacco was going to be sitting out for the week, and so is Mahomes.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 3:Lamar Jackson will be sitting out this week. I believe Christian McCaffrey will also be sitting out this week. Matt's Matt Stafford's taken the week off since they've clinched. There's Flacco. And another news Quayfey Adolfo.
Speaker 2:Mensa will also continue to take the week off as he has the entire 2022, 2023, 2024 NFL season. Thank you, that's about it.
Speaker 3:That's about all I got. For what not? You want to get into the games or something else?
Speaker 2:I would just just talk real quick about the Russell Wilson Stratton situation in Denver. It looks like that's about to get Muay Caliente See Quote Sean Payton messed with the wrong guy. This is per the yard Barker, but I have read this at another reputable news sources the impending.
Speaker 3:Secondhand information of Russ Singh. He's messed with the wrong guy.
Speaker 2:Well, if you watch any of the clips of Russell Wilson, clearly he's not happy. The impending split between the Denver Broncos and quarterback Russell Wilson may get a whole lot messier than it already is After benching Wilson for Jirret Stittum last week. The 35 year old quarterback with public the team's threat to bench him weeks ago during the bio week If he did not wave his $37 million injury guarantee for the 2025 season, which gets locked in this coming March. The move didn't sit right with the NFLPA, which sent a letter to the Broncos in November of forming them that the threat made to Wilson violated the collective bargaining agreement and they could face legal action because of it. Although head coach Sean Payton maintained that Wilson's benching was for performance related reasons and nothing to do with this contract, that's not the perception around the league.
Speaker 2:Now painting. The Broncos front office will likely spend the beginning part of the off season doing damage control, trying to repair the hit the reputations took after Wilson shared his side of the story. Quote 15 years ago, this quarterback the quarterback would sit quiet and try to get on another team. An anonymous exec told the athletic when he mistreated a guy like Wilson that ain't going to happen. I think Sean messed with the wrong guy because Wilson told the story. A guy like what, who's never won anything, has he won a Super Bowl?
Speaker 3:Yeah, he's been to the Super Bowl. I can't remember I don't.
Speaker 2:Well, I've seen a vagina. Doesn't make me a porn star.
Speaker 3:I'm pretty sure they did. Let me check, go on, I just I don't, I don't see, don't you find?
Speaker 2:the most diva quarterback, I think. Besides, I don't know who's more in the league right now, just Sean. Listen, they're not good, they're oil and water. Sean Payton and Russell Wilson are not going to vibe, as the kids might say. Go your separate ways. I'm ready for games now. Are you ready? Yeah, let's get it All right.
Speaker 3:I believe we have some Pittsburgh visiting Baltimore. Pittsburgh has the line, since Baltimore's got Lamar. Excuse me, huntley starting instead of Lamar Jackson. I'm going to go with Pittsburgh on the upset, not the upset, but they got the line. Excuse me, on the road. I meant to say Jameson has gone with bold humor because I don't know that he knows that Jackson sitting or he just doesn't care.
Speaker 2:I think Huntley's a better quarterback. Anyway, we'll also take the Baltimore Ravens.
Speaker 3:Sounds good. That's an interesting one. Indianapolis is hosting their division rivals, Houston. India has the line at home by one and a half. Jameson and I have both gone with the Texans. Why not keep on going with the Texans, like we have all year? What do you think David who's playing? Indianapolis is hosting the Texans.
Speaker 2:I'll take Indianapolis. What the fuck do I care if I draw back another game? Yeah.
Speaker 3:I need one win, one Super Bowl win.
Speaker 2:I need a number.
Speaker 3:I think at the time. By the way, huh, russell Wilson, his one Super Bowl win was with Denver. Cleveland without Joe Flacco is not getting love from Vegas. Cincinnati has the line at home by seven against their division rivals. Jameson is going to go with the Browns, I'm going to go with the Cincinnati Bengals on this one at home. Close out the season with the win.
Speaker 2:I will also take the Bungles with you there, Scotty.
Speaker 3:Excellent. We got two of our favorite teams in our heart Minnesota visiting the Detroit Lions. Detroit has a line at home three and a half. They must still be wanting to get a better position or seed or something If they're not going to sit down Anybody. So I'm still going with Detroit on this one, not loving Minnesota for any reason.
Speaker 2:I don't. I don't see why it wouldn't. I will also take the Detroit Lions. I hear we're going to set the world on fire by putting Nick the pick Mullins back in. I'm I'm guessing that he'll throw between two and three interception. I'm also going to put some money on with Vegas that he throws at least one pick six. I will take the Detroit Lions in a route.
Speaker 3:Nice.
Speaker 2:Liking. Suck the sock, go ahead.
Speaker 3:Another of our early season. Love children. The Jacksonville Jaguars. She'll visit their division rivals, the Tennessee Titans.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:J J J Jack's had the line three and a half on the road. I think we've all gone that way, even though Leviss has been has been a nice little J J J J J.
Speaker 2:J, j, j J.
Speaker 3:J, j, j, j, j, j, j, j, j, j J.
Speaker 2:J, j, j, j, j, j, j, j, j, j, j, j, j, j, j J J.
Speaker 3:J J J visiting the New Orleans Saints. Saints have the line at home three and a half. I and Jamison have also gone with the Saints on this one. Who's the other team?
Speaker 2:Falcons. I'll take the Falcons. You gotta be bold. Yeah, play to win. David, you love the Dirty Bird? I do love them. I love Atlanta, one of the great American cities.
Speaker 3:Well, they're a Crosstown divisional rivals. Well, across the area, ah, they're not Crosstown, sorry. The Southeast, the division Tampa Bay, visiting Carolina. Carolina will not have a line ever again. Tampa Bay, that's the line four and a half on the road I've gone with the Bucks. They are fighting to stay. This is the division winner here, so I think they'll probably pull it out. What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard, at no point.
Speaker 2:Who's playing?
Speaker 3:Tampa Bay is visiting Carolina Tampa.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I apologize, I was rambling. All right, we got Chicago visiting the Green Bay Packers. Packers have the line at home by three. I and Jameson have gone with the Packers.
Speaker 2:I'm going to take the Bears. Justin Fields is playing pretty good right now.
Speaker 3:He really is. I would love that, yep. I honestly would have played pick the Bears, but the Packers are trying to get into the playoffs.
Speaker 2:I know I'm taking the Bears, though I think they're eager to shut Listen. That's one of the oldest rivalries in the game. You know we talk about.
Speaker 1:Minnesota, green Bay.
Speaker 2:Really it's Green Bay, chicago. They hate each other. Because you could literally just like if you're really that mad, you know jumping the car an hour and 45 minutes later you're there. You know what I mean. You could shit on the sidewalk in front of your rival stadium and then get home in time for dinner. This is. You want to talk about crosstown rivals? I don't know what you're trying to get to earlier. This regionally makes much more sense if you're going to go with that comparison. So I'm going to take Justin Fields and the Bears If they keep going the way they're going are going to be dangerous at the NFC North next year, bebe.
Speaker 1:The. Oh sorry, you keep going.
Speaker 3:No, it's fine, I was just. I was just going to reminisce about the, the picture I sent you guys the other day with a guy flicking off Lambeau Field. His t-shirt said I'd rather take a shower or a Ha Wilson or good Penn State, then go to Lambeau.
Speaker 2:Field, and that's what Joe Pa was in charge.
Speaker 3:All right, so Russell Wilson will probably not be starting again. Denver is going to Las Vegas. Vegas has a line at home two and a half. Just love those Raiders this second half of the season. So does Jameson. Raiders for everybody. What are you saying?
Speaker 2:Everyone's Raiders so far, I'm going to take the Raiders as well. I think everyone is going to play hard. They want that coach to come back next year and lead them, so let's go. It's Paul Pierce, is that his name?
Speaker 3:Pierce? Sure, not Paul Pierce. That's the best Paul player. Did you hit the ding? I'm sorry I didn't hear it. Philadelphia She'll be visiting the New York Giants. Probably we all go Philadelphia. They have the line in on the road. Five and a half Jameson's gone, the Eagles as have I Giants. I wanted to pick the Giants. This feels like the Chicago Packer game, yeah.
Speaker 2:I hope I get this lead down to single digits for you guys. I keep going. There could be some brilliance here at work.
Speaker 3:It really could be. This is the week to do it too, or I'm down 34 at the end of it, oh Jesus. It should be a good old East Coast smack on the mouth kind of old crosstown. Seattle has the line two and a half visiting Arizona. Arizona sucks. I'm going with Seattle, but Seattle's not that great, but it should be a close one.
Speaker 2:Who's James? Oh he is also going with Arizona I. Is there ever been just a more boring just fucking milk toast team than the Seattle Seahawks? Everything about them where they play, it's just all boring, there's nothing. There's nothing good about it. Russell Wilson was your guy.
Speaker 3:It was. It was a place to be what 10 years ago, maybe something like that, when Russell first got in there P Carroll it's always raining. That you mean physically the place, yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't. I don't live there. The most interesting thing about that team was their owner, paul Allen, of course, one of the triumvirate that started Microsoft Yep, and he died. That's what they did to him.
Speaker 3:Even without Patrick Mahomes starting, I think Blaine Gabbard will have enough to take on Easton stick and the LA Chargers this week. The Chargers do have the line at home three and a half, but both James and I are going with the chiefs.
Speaker 2:Chargers. I need, I need wins. I got to go big.
Speaker 3:I don't know how, but you're going to win some. All right, you got the LA Rams and the San Francisco 49ers facing off in a battle of backups. Niners have the line or at home small line. This year I'm going with the Niners, jameson has gone with the LA Rams.
Speaker 2:Shit. I like it when you guys are both in agreement. I'll take the Niners. Defense is too good.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that wasn't. That was kind of where I was at. Oh righty, second to last, penultimate game of the year Dallas with a huge line still 13 and a half going to, washington, going to. They don't play good on the road, but I'm not picking Washington, so both James and I have gone with the Cowboys commanders, and I'm confident in that pick. Fuck it, riverboat Ron.
Speaker 2:Now's the time Could be his last game coaching ever.
Speaker 3:You think he and Magic Johnson have gotten drinks. All right, for the last game of the year, sunday Night Football will be featuring Buffalo with the line of three visiting Miami. The whole line is on Buffalo right now. Miami doesn't need to win, buffalo does, and it's divisional and they can do it. They've already done it Right. So I'm going Buffalo with Jameson's gone 52 points and I'm a dick so I've chosen 53.
Speaker 2:I'm taking Miami 48 points.
Speaker 3:It's actually 48 and a half was like the over under I know, I know.
Speaker 2:Believe me when I say I let you guys win every season. I could trounce you both, all right, but I've got enough going for me.
Speaker 3:Both you and Jameson have won five weeks of picks. This year I have won six, and this will be seven.
Speaker 2:And yet I'm 17 behind.
Speaker 3:You just do really bad when you don't win. When you do win, you do good, when you don't, you do very bad.
Speaker 2:So I'm a bad guy, like I win one hand and I'm all in immediately. I'm in, david, pace yourself.
Speaker 3:Fuck you, Except for last last week. Last week you did really well. It was a good all around pick.
Speaker 2:I got screwed by a guy. I won one again.
Speaker 1:And I would have had six weeks Right.
Speaker 2:It's still been 17 behind or 16.
Speaker 3:What counts out here?
Speaker 2:I am what counts out here. Well, listen, this has been highly entertaining and, judging by the subscriber numbers, are our subscribers around the world. They're also highly entertained by our ongoing shenanigans. I personally missed Jameson's presence tonight, but I think you and I soldiered through, like the professionals we are, and delivered a high value show with high quality content that will be consumed like wildfires on Prairie Grass. What do you think about that?
Speaker 3:I think it's great. I agree completely. We'll be back next week for a playoff postseason preview and then after that a Super Bowl after or preview like syphilis through a senior living community.
Speaker 1:We ain't no, stop in this now.
Speaker 3:You know they're fucking everyone says, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, if you only had a little bit left, a time left, you go right back to what it, what it? What makes you happy, don you know?
Speaker 3:I don't know. I never caught any of the old people doing it when I was walking by to see my mom in the home, but then again that was the really old ones. I don't know. Guys walk around complete dementia, with a heart on just come on slapping it against the rail as he's walking by Don't let it go to waste. No, that'll be you. Oh, it'll definitely definitely be you. Hard as a rock, Just your husband your husband's out there again.
Speaker 2:What's oh God? What's he doing now? Same thing, always does.
Speaker 3:You know those little carts they give people that break their legs.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And other ankles. I see you on one of those. Oh, it's like because you got the bad leg for sure, put and the knee in the same fucking legs, so you'll have one of those rock hard dick just kind of scooting, scooting down the hall.
Speaker 2:I always have a problem with proximity because I just have to rub it on somebody. So just an inch away from you talking but waste about three inches forward, excuse me Okay.
Speaker 3:Oh, mr Hitson, take it easy.
Speaker 2:Take it easy.
Speaker 3:Hey, do you know where this is?
Speaker 1:at.
Speaker 2:Get out of here, you weirdo.
Speaker 1:Get back in my ass.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know my fucking golf card that I pays like the pain, like the pussy wagon from kill bill.
Speaker 3:They all do it, no matter how woke or sensible you are. So a certain age I got to start grabbing access.
Speaker 2:A buddy who shall rename nameless because he can't be associated with the show. I told me I was telling about my plans to relocate to the villages at some point and he goes have you learned about the Lufa system? I said the Lufa system, what's that? Well, apparently colored Lufas mean different things and I would just like to. So I'm still going there because Swinger, yeah, I well, that's okay, hold on, I think we need to cover this. Can we cover this before we shut down the show?
Speaker 1:I think people are going to this is way more entertaining than taking a public service announcement by the igniter media network.
Speaker 2:You goddamn ungrateful shit. Now listen Lufa system, the villages Okay.
Speaker 1:Here we go.
Speaker 2:Here we go. I got it Okay. So the one that I was aware and people listen, I'm going to go back to the basics. If you see an upside down pineapple a pineapple of any variety they may be into some swinging. Okay, and I thought that that was as simple as it went. So I made you know the joke that I make because I'm insecure who I am and I need people to laugh and give me constant affirmation because I'm a fucking weirdo like that that that I was going to have an upside down pineapple flag with a circle and a line through it to clearly tell people no swing, no swinging. Right If the, if it had a porch swing, to just set it a fire and then send that as a warning, a shot across the box. But then he goes oh no, they're past the pineapples, it's sure enough. If you search this, it's all out there.
Speaker 2:So the villages has a seven loofah system and the colors are important, so I'm just going to go through these and give you the and give you the basics, here we go. They call this the loofah code, white white loofah, which I never buy because it shows the poop. Yeah, that's novices and beginners Like. I'm interested, I'm bored. I'm bored with what's happening we're thinking about spicing it up.
Speaker 3:Piece of paper.
Speaker 2:Color me open. Open the conversation Right. Open your mind to me. It's funny. I watched that last night with the boys for the first time. They fucking adored it.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's so great, I can't wait.
Speaker 2:I had to fast forward through the booby part. So we're not there yet, but Sharon's so super hot in that movie, by the way. My God, was she a beautiful woman. Okay, here we go. Second. So I've had some conversations, so now we move on to purple For your and people who like to watch. That's where you fall in, that's your category, you weirdo.
Speaker 3:Me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no. So, cucks and so on. Yeah, you're a keyhole guy. Let me look at that.
Speaker 3:I'm not I would.
Speaker 2:Scott has a keyhole installed. It's a brand new home. He has the old skeleton key installed, just so people can look through and see what he's doing in there.
Speaker 3:I'm more in the emergent. I would start as purple and then I graduate to the next color.
Speaker 2:Emergent pink. That's level. We're on the level three now, okay, okay. So people who like yeah, people like to do it with others in the room, okay, Okay.
Speaker 3:So like a weird little okay, like camp or something, or like a double date. Yeah, you're out in the woods, just okay.
Speaker 2:I mean, like I think you know, white and purple, take a shower, Do your hair Once we get to pink. However, there could be some manscaping going on lotioning. You're probably going to want to have some, some, some, some, some lasering done. You're going to want to trim. That's what I was like I'm interested.
Speaker 3:The colors interest me too. Go on.
Speaker 2:I think pink is also probably now a workout motivation, like if you're going to do with other people in the room, you should be presentable. Pink will be on display. Yeah, hydrophones, hydro, wife Blue. We'll talk about level four here. It starts to get serious. Lowest level of full swap and I love this in in parents, those who play well with others.
Speaker 3:So it's like maybe one touches your wife, but not you, or something like that Maybe.
Speaker 2:maybe saw swap, as you just Dutch rudder.
Speaker 1:Okay With other people in the room but blue.
Speaker 2:You're clearly touching me there and I'm enjoying it. Okay, it's not gay. I don't know what's happening. I'm working through some things.
Speaker 3:Blue balls. They seem to think that would be the cuck one. I'm up for it.
Speaker 2:Yellow. Yellow the one, two, three, four, five. Oddly enough does not indicate love of urine, which I thought maybe it would.
Speaker 3:That's a slam dunk.
Speaker 1:You would think. I thought that might be the R.
Speaker 2:Kelly Lufa not shower play. Any preconceived notions you had about yellow. I wanted to dispel them because I'm going to get into it. Here we go Yellow mid level swap. I love that there's soft, low level, middle, mid level swap for those who want to have fun but are still nervous.
Speaker 3:This is the silver package, yeah.
Speaker 2:Maybe their hip just got replaced Yellow, so black. Oh, also the large the largest Lufa no full swap. Those who say, what the hell, let it all go down, let's clap some cheeks yeah, it's on.
Speaker 3:Okay, and then there was a seventh. There's, yeah, teal, teal. Oh, they're allergic to something. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like, if I'm in here's, here's, I like this one Teal Bisexual for those who want to increase their dating chances.
Speaker 3:No shit, yeah, experimentation. So black is full swap.
Speaker 2:Let, what the hell, let it all go. Teal Holes a hole, let's go.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, okay. So for the first six it's generally you're sticking to your own preference. So, then Okay.
Speaker 2:Based on that, I'd like you to take a guess as to what color Lufa I would be.
Speaker 3:Depends on your mood, your alcohol content.
Speaker 2:That'd be great if there's a scale Like like there's a delta between amount of cocktails consumed, in which I feel like you'd be ready for yellow or black, but crystal at best would be a blue. Ha. So we both said no, lufa, we use a body scrub, we go washcloth, we want to send a signal. I'm not sharing, I'm, you know I I might be interested just to see how awkward it is for other people to do this.
Speaker 3:All right, I know that you would have done it already, but I'm not suggesting if you guys were to partake. That's what the question was. So yes, obviously. So it might seem like a cheeks mark, or I guess 5 on 4.
Speaker 2:I was assuming, well, he's recently married. I'm going to go with pink, kind of a soft swap guy, Just try to feel her out a little bit. That makes sense. That's probably where I'd be at. I know a couple of people in this town pure black or teal. I'm not going to say who they are, and if you're listening to the show, I know you know, we all know who you are.
Speaker 3:I think once upon a time, Jeremy would have been a teal.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, he works at teals grocery store, so I'm just saying it's, it's there. Jamison's going to be a teal, oh yeah, baby. Anyway, there's pictures of cars with all these Lufas attached to him. It's hysterical.
Speaker 3:I can't wait to just do the show about fun stuff and whatever again.
Speaker 2:I can't wait to get down to the villages and just give you live reports and be like it's all true. Live from the orgy the igniter media network live from the orgy villages 2026.
Speaker 3:Take like a just a little camera feed of the doors as you're walking by to see how many Lufas are hanging.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to walk around with a bunch of white Lufas hanging from my neck, it looks like some fluffy lace, crevette. You teal. One's nervous. What's up, he's got a teal.
Speaker 3:Lufa hanging out of his shorts.
Speaker 2:This is so great, yeah. So anyway, I got a listen. I got a lot of bits I'm working on, but just know that the content will be flowing like the River Nile Once we get to the villages in Florida. Lots to talk about, Hopefully not the river sticks. Hmm, maybe I'll get a golden pineapple put on my golf cart and then clean it with like a white Lufa, just to send people in interest Like is he into it or not?
Speaker 3:We're like assless chaps with like a button up turtle neck or something.
Speaker 2:We call David the big T's down here. We never know what he's into, just mismatched. Yeah, get a Lufa that doesn't fit the code and then fly that. People are like, oh my God, is he into a whole new thing? What is this brown, what is this rainbow Lufa?
Speaker 3:What is that?
Speaker 2:To transform, to transformers Lufa. No one knows what to make of it.
Speaker 3:Wow, this one just has a picture of Nicholas Cage on it Damn Lufa, or instead of a Lufa.
Speaker 2:You know those party decorations that are flat, but then you, you open them and they become like, like, they look like a Lufa.
Speaker 3:Just hang those instead. I like Lufa adjacent. I think I would dress like Caligula. I think if I were a part of oh, just just ropes and some fucking sandals. Yeah, a little armor on the front plate. You know skirt.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Sam's nice big red cloak. Yeah, Dress the part, but then anytime anyone tries to come at you, just be like.
Speaker 1:Have you heard about.
Speaker 2:If you heard the good news about our Lord and Savior, jesus Christ, have you heard? I'm here to save you, kicking the door on the orgy. I'm here to save you, sinners the power of the sandals. Put your clothes back on.
Speaker 3:That'd be ironic A Roman trying to spout the word of Jesus.
Speaker 2:You find me if I move in and six months later half the villages moves out.
Speaker 1:Can't have this guy.
Speaker 3:You can't take this fucking Bible square.
Speaker 2:We need to get out of here Cheats that golf and said he was a black Lufa. He clearly lied. It's like to carry this Lufa around. What's the problem?
Speaker 3:Like I got. I got dry skin. I need to clean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exfoliate, exfoliate. I clean the schmutz off my golf cat. You got a bunch of upside down pineapples on it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Just depends on which which direction I'm driving Billy.
Speaker 3:Your golf shirt just is littered with pineapples and diamond shapes Just just tons of like a Rolls-Royce.
Speaker 2:I just have a upside down pineapple logo on my steering wheel. That never changes direction, gotcha.
Speaker 3:You get rid of the R and R and it's just an upside down pineapple $4,000 option.
Speaker 2:The permanent upside down pineapple.
Speaker 3:They probably have that at the dealership. If that one of the prices those people pay, I'd expect them to know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:Bunch of Lufas. Bunch of Lufas.
Speaker 1:Love it.
Speaker 3:Since, since you are ailing, I maybe, maybe take a pass on. I know I had said I'd come out to see if I could, but if you guys got the pink eye, I don't think I should brave it.
Speaker 2:Why you can't get pink. You don't love me. You can't get pink eye, so I still. I just assumed you're not feeling. Well, listen, will it be awkward when I'm constantly trying to poke you in the eyeball? Or we've been through worse. We've been through some stuff together. This ain't the first time.
Speaker 3:Probably wouldn't be the first time you gave me pink eye either.
Speaker 2:I'll give you pink eye, pink eye, brown eye. Who gives a shit?
Speaker 1:Right in the center big guy.
Speaker 2:Big guy. All right, my man, that was fun. What color do you think Sean Watson is TO? I would assume right. Or do you think he's? He stays full head row.
Speaker 3:I probably full head row. Yeah, he's probably into the yellow or black. I'd say.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this has been good. Anyway, public service announcement If you're down in the villages delivering pizza and you see a couple of Lufas hanging off the car whose house you're about to deliver, to stay back at least four feet from that door. Make them come out. Don't wait for the tip, Just leave it at the door. Don't go in when they ask you to. Don't fall for that shit. Let's walk around with Totino's pizza here. Did you want this? I'll come in and give it to you.
Speaker 3:It takes just sticking through the pizza, just a.
Speaker 2:Lufa hanging off of it. Oh whoa. All right, my brother. Thank you so much. This has been good. Love you bro.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to the NFL Pickham show. Email your questions and comments to igniternetwork at gmailcom. That's IGNTRnetwork at gmailcom. This has been a production of the Igniter Media Network. Igniter inflammatory discussion about sports entertainment, life and the body politic For the inside press down.